I Don't Need a College Degree to Tell Me I'm an Artist!

I don't know if you are anything like me but there are times when I just can't function if I'm not in the right state of mind. I'm not talking about being too tired from staying up late the night before or being in a "food coma" from having a big meal. I'm talking about being in a bad place in life.

Back in High School I took several art classes that made me really start to love art. I didn't spend too much time drawing or painting at home but I loved my art classes. Maybe it was because I had a lot of close friends in my classes. Or maybe it was just because deep down I loved art and didn't know it yet. I decided maybe I'd go to college to be a fine art major. My dad suggested I go for Graphic Design because I could make a pretty good living after college. I spoke to my High School teachers, family and friends about going on to college for art and many of them laughed in my face. I remember them saying I would never make it as an artist and I should rethink my major in college all together. I didn't know how to take that. I was pretty hurt that my own teachers & family couldn't support me. I figured it was probably because I wasn't one of their favorite students. Nevertheless, I went on to college to be a Graphic Design major. I was in for a very big eye opener!

I'm not sure how some colleges are but at Bowling Green State University you get to start your Freshman year taking classes toward your major. At some schools you spend the first semester or so taking required classes like English and History. I had some of those too but I was lucky (or maybe UNlucky) enough to take an Intro to Graphic Design course. Maybe it was the instructor but I found I couldn't do ANYTHING right. Nothing I did was good enough for him. I tried to stick with it but by the end of my second semester as a Graphic Design major I decided it wasn't for me. I kept getting very low grades on my projects so I spoke to my counselor about possibly changing my major to something else. By this time I had the opportunity to take some other art classes like photography, watercolor and sculpture. Photography was high on my list! I had so much fun in the dark room messing around with my negatives and developing my own photos. This was for me! So, I changed my major to Fine Art Photography. This also proved to be a failure for me. My fellow classmates would critique my work as if a First Grader had taken the photos instead of me. Nothing I ever did was good enough for anyone! My grades started to suffer because I felt very self conscious and my self esteem was starting to diminish.

By the end of my college experience I had gotten in to the relationship with my ex. This "mistake" also proved to be the ending of my artistic career. He never supported me with any of my art projects. He just didn't "get it". When things started falling apart with school I lost interest and decided not to finish. It just didn't seem to be working out in my favor. My concentration seemed to be geared towards making my ex (boyfriend at the time) happy. He had moved to Bowling Green, OH to be near me as I finished school but when he couldn't pay his bills and take care of himself he had to move back to Mansfield, OH, our hometown. I decided I might as well go back with him because he was all I cared about at the time.

It seemed that I had lost interest in art but I still felt like something wonderful was being created in the depths of my mind. I just couldn't express it yet. My relationship with my ex had gotten worse and eventually I lost interest in everything. Art was the last thing on my mind. I can literally count on one hand how many paintings I had created in the nearly 9 years I spent with him. I had so much on my mind, like how we would make ends meet and how we would put food on the table. We fought all the time. Every ounce of life I had went to trying to make him happy. I had no time for art and he could have cared less if I made art or not. I tried numerous times to create something...but my heart just wasn't in it. I can't create art in this state of mind and I definitely didn't have the courage to show any of my artwork to others. I couldn't take a chance on hearing more negativity towards my art...or my life.

It's never been quite clear to me what I wanted to do with me life. Until, of course, I met Rob. He had been an Arts Administration major in college and also attend an "alternative" high school which focused on the arts. This was just one more thing we had in common and one more way we could "connect." Once I moved to Great Falls and got the job at the art museum my love for art returned full force! Creativity was around me all day EVERY day. I would go home at night and, while talking to Rob on the phone, would create abstract watercolor paintings. I was so happy creating with my hands! I had forgotten how much I loved painting! Everyone around me was so supportive and for once people actually liked my art! I finally had the courage to show others my artwork! When I moved to Edmonton my love for creating became even stronger. Once I was able to be in the presence of Rob my creative juices were over flowing! He, too, had put creating art on the back burner of his life. He began to create works of art again. We would sit at the kitchen table for hours just painting together. It became very clear to me what I wanted to do with my life. At that moment I knew we should start our own art studio. I began researching how to have a career as an artist. I spent several days trying to figure out the best name for our art studio. It needed to be something that meant something to us. This would be harder than I thought.

In late Spring of 2009, Rob was outside in the late evening enjoying the warm fresh air when he mentioned I should come outside and look at the sky. As I did I noticed the eerie green lights moving and shifting slowly across the sky. It was the Northern Lights! I was finally experiencing them in person! I've seen photos of how beautiful they are but I never guessed I would see them in Edmonton, especially with all the city lights glowing in the skies around us. I was taken aback! These were so neat! And so...Canadian! As I was trying to think of a name for our art studio I remembered how wonderful that phenomenon had been. That was the basis for our name decision. We would call our art studio Polar Lights Art Studio. It was perfect! Instantly we were drawn into a creative routine. Everything now revolves around our studio. It has made us so happy, me especially. I've never felt comfortable calling myself an artist. Rob assured me that if you have created something with your hands you are now an artist. So...I guess I'm an artist! I have created over 65 pieces of artwork since I met Rob in 2007, 47 of which have been created in 2009 at Polar Lights Art Studio! I've had two pieces shown in exhibits already! We even have a website and Facebook page for our studio! This is way more success than I ever expected. Now I know what I'm going to do with my life! And I don't need a college degree to tell me I'm an artist!