A Healthy Relationship

Last week Rob and I received our official marriage certificate in the mail! Included in the envelope was an information sheet called the Ten Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship. Coming from a "broken" relationship in my past I found this list to be very interesting! I want to share the ten characteristics with you:

1. The partners in the relationship value themselves and each other. They understand each other's differences and they treat each other with respect and courtesy.


2. The partners are equal. They make decisions together. If they have children, they parent together.


3. When the partners disagree they know that it's okay to talk about their differences. They work it out together. They find ways for both partners to get what they need.


4. The partners listen to and respect each other's viewpoints. They express their feelings and opinions. They do not make hurtful comments about the other person.


5. Each partner takes responsibility for themselves. They do not expect the other person to resolve all their problems or always make them happy.


6. The partners each feel comfortable taking time alone if they need it. They feel okay about doing some things separately.


7. There is no fear in their relationship. Healthy relationships are built on love, respect, caring and happiness.


8. The partners do not try to restrict or control each other. They encourage and support each other's growth.


9. Even when the partners are busy, they make time for one another and their relationship.


10. The partners have a circle of people who know them and support them as a couple. They spend time with others who have strong and healthy relationships.

Now, I won't pretend to be an expert on marriage, especially since I am technically still a newlywed. But, as I look at this list I can already see these steps being taken in my new marriage. I can also see how every single one of these ten steps has failed in my past relationships. In my opinion, if you can check off these ten steps then you must have the right person in your life. If you can not check off any of these items, it may be time to rethink your relationship. If you still feel like you are with the right person in your relationship/marriage but you still can't cross off a few of these ten characteristics, maybe you should sit down with your significant other and work on ways to fix the issue so you CAN check it off this list. I never want anyone to ever feel the way I did in my past relationships! I can't even begin to tell you how low and miserable I felt every single day of my life. If I had this list of characteristics in front of me five years ago my life may be a lot different than it is now. That could be a blessing and a curse. If I had read this list earlier in my life I may never have been in a bad relationship (blessing) and thus never have met Rob (curse). There is definitely a reason why I never had this list before. I was meant to find true love in Rob. Now that I am lucky enough to have him in my life I can take this list to heart. I find that I compare this list to my parents' marriage and see how wonderful their relationship has been through the years. They are truly blessed and I hope my marriage to Rob will be just as blessed as our parents' marriages have been. If we follow these Ten Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship, anything is possible! Therefore, I WILL follow these ten characteristics and be the best wife I can possibly be!